How (not to) hit on girls 101 Iqbal Ahmed: I was macking on this girl really hard, and felt like i was succeeding. She was one of Lauren’s friends in from Calgary then we were all going down town and my buddy Joel was being his funny self and just making everyone on the bus laugh and shit so as a joke I sent him a message saying “dude, Jackie totally wants to touch your penis. Back off, you’re stealing my thunder” I hit send and my phone says “sending message to jackie” i just get frantic and try to take the battery out of my phone and everything next thing i know, from two seats down “beep, beep” and then just uncontrollable laughter i get up and tell her to just keep it to her self and i’ll explain later nope, her friend tells everyone on the bus  

How (not to) hit on girls 101

Iqbal Ahmed:

I was macking on this girl really hard, and felt like i was succeeding. She was one of Lauren’s friends in from Calgary
then we were all going down town and my buddy Joel was being his funny self and just making everyone on the bus laugh and shit
so as a joke I sent him a message saying “dude, Jackie totally wants to touch your penis. Back off, you’re stealing my thunder”
I hit send and my phone says “sending message to jackie”
i just get frantic and try to take the battery out of my phone and everything
next thing i know, from two seats down “beep, beep”
and then just uncontrollable laughter
i get up and tell her to just keep it to her self and i’ll explain later
nope, her friend tells everyone on the bus

 

Why not to try and call the Dalai Lama on your iPhone The 14th Dalai Lama attempts to shoot an enemy with his celestial finger gun. I’m going to preface this story by telling you that I called 9-1-1 by accident last night and it’s really hilariously embarrassing how that happened. But first, the set up! Last night Meredith Hambrock, Graham Bing, and I were having a discussion regarding the future of the station of Dalai Lama. The current Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, has stated that he may be the last to hold the honourable title and he has also claimed that theoretical next Lama cannot be reincarnated in Tibet, as no Lama should be born inside an illiberal state like China.  The policy of the Chinese government states that precedent and it’s possession of the Golden Urn gives it the power to select the next Lama. It is feared that China will use this power to install a pro-government puppet Lama in an attempt to destroy anti-Chinese sentiments in Tibet. My friends and I realized that the DL only has one choice if he is going to avoid a Chinese takeover; he has to freeze himself to avert disaster! If the Dalai Lama were to freeze himself cryogenically he would never truly die and he would be unable to reincarnate in the hands of the Chinese government. A cryogenically frozen Lama would theoretically still be alive and revivable, so the Chinese would be unable to exploit the position as part of its cruel machinations. Armed with this nation saving epiphany, I attempted to phone the Dalai Lama last night to tell him our plan. The number provided on his website is +91 1892 221343 and I dialled the shit out of that number. Unfortunately, an English speaking woman answered and I just hung up on her; I was hoping to talk to someone who was at least Indian! A minute later I received a call from an unknown number. Who was calling me? 9-1-1 Emergency was calling me. They wanted to know if I was okay since I had just dialed 9-1-1. It turns out that the English speaking woman had been the 9-1-1 operator and it also turns out that dialling any numbers from your iPhone starting with “9, 1 and 1” automatically calls the police. It doesn’t matter how many other numbers you put after, you are still call 9-1-1. It was really hard and embarrassing to explain to the 9-1-1 operator that I was trying to call the Dalai Lama and had accidentally called her instead. Oh damn. Don’t try and call the Dalai Lama by clicking on the number posted on his website.

Why not to try and call the Dalai Lama on your iPhone

The 14th Dalai Lama attempts to shoot an enemy with his celestial finger gun.

I’m going to preface this story by telling you that I called 9-1-1 by accident last night and it’s really hilariously embarrassing how that happened. But first, the set up!

Last night Meredith Hambrock, Graham Bing, and I were having a discussion regarding the future of the station of Dalai Lama. The current Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, has stated that he may be the last to hold the honourable title and he has also claimed that theoretical next Lama cannot be reincarnated in Tibet, as no Lama should be born inside an illiberal state like China. 

The policy of the Chinese government states that precedent and it’s possession of the Golden Urn gives it the power to select the next Lama. It is feared that China will use this power to install a pro-government puppet Lama in an attempt to destroy anti-Chinese sentiments in Tibet.

My friends and I realized that the DL only has one choice if he is going to avoid a Chinese takeover; he has to freeze himself to avert disaster! If the Dalai Lama were to freeze himself cryogenically he would never truly die and he would be unable to reincarnate in the hands of the Chinese government. A cryogenically frozen Lama would theoretically still be alive and revivable, so the Chinese would be unable to exploit the position as part of its cruel machinations.

Armed with this nation saving epiphany, I attempted to phone the Dalai Lama last night to tell him our plan. The number provided on his website is +91 1892 221343 and I dialled the shit out of that number. Unfortunately, an English speaking woman answered and I just hung up on her; I was hoping to talk to someone who was at least Indian!

A minute later I received a call from an unknown number. Who was calling me? 9-1-1 Emergency was calling me. They wanted to know if I was okay since I had just dialed 9-1-1. It turns out that the English speaking woman had been the 9-1-1 operator and it also turns out that dialling any numbers from your iPhone starting with “9, 1 and 1” automatically calls the police. It doesn’t matter how many other numbers you put after, you are still call 9-1-1. It was really hard and embarrassing to explain to the 9-1-1 operator that I was trying to call the Dalai Lama and had accidentally called her instead.

Oh damn. Don’t try and call the Dalai Lama by clicking on the number posted on his website.

Make Democracy Actually Matter Elections Canada says that “Voting does not require a lot of time or effort – in other words, it is one of the easiest ways to have a say in how your society is governed.” I just want to express how totally I disagree with this in the light of our latest federal election. Voting should probably be one of the hardest things for you to do. To understand issues, do your own research and to really make an informed decision, a person has to spend hundreds of hours learning, reading , listening— whatever. Being informed is hard and it takes a lot of effort. When (if) you go out and vote in the next election, please make sure you know what you are really doing when you put a mark next to someone’s name. Don’t do it because that’s what your parents do, or what your friends do, or because that’s what someone else told you to do. Don’t do it because you feel guilty about not voting or because you have a vague affinity for particular party and their buzz words— do it because you have real conviction and you actually believe in something. Life is hard and a lot of the time it doesn’t go the way we want it to. With democracy, with people power, we get the chance for our voices to be heard and recognized. And it isn’t just about people hearing you, it’s you having something meaningful to say. It is our opportunity to act with real purpose and tell others how we want the world to be. Democracy is joining a club and agitating for change. Democracy is you working together with other people in anyway, because you feel like things are not the way you want them to be. Democracy is picking up garbage in your neighbourhood, building a school for kids that don’t have one, and democracy is you taking a stand and saying “Hey, I don’t like like the way things are so I’m going to do this to change that.”  Election Canada is right if it only means the physical act of voting is easy; walking into a building and writing on a piece of paper doesn’t take a lot of effort for most people. But what takes real effort in democratic state, as well as in life, is figuring out what you really care about- maybe realizing their is something you can’t live without, and fighting as hard as you can for it. Know what you want, know what you believe in, get involved and do something to make that happen. Democracy is people changing their own lives, not writing on a piece of paper.  If you’re going to vote, make sure it matters and it means something. Elections Canada says “The legitimacy of a government lies in the fact that it is elected. Low voter turnouts may call into question this democratic legitimacy.” To me, a government is illegitimate if people have no idea what they are talking about and only a vague, uneducated idea of what the issues really are. Go read about economies before you bash governments for their budgets and go get versed on how parliament even works before you attack politicians for acting the way they do. If you’re going to vote, make sure you’re ready to fight for what you believe in and make sure you have a leg to stand on, because this is my country too and I want it to be the best place in the world for me and mine to live in.  Be smart, read a book. Don’t be an idiot. Take action and participate in democracy because it’s part of your plan for making your life and the lives of the people you love better.

Make Democracy Actually Matter

Elections Canada says that “Voting does not require a lot of time or effort – in other words, it is one of the easiest ways to have a say in how your society is governed.” I just want to express how totally I disagree with this in the light of our latest federal election.

Voting should probably be one of the hardest things for you to do. To understand issues, do your own research and to really make an informed decision, a person has to spend hundreds of hours learning, reading , listening— whatever. Being informed is hard and it takes a lot of effort. When (if) you go out and vote in the next election, please make sure you know what you are really doing when you put a mark next to someone’s name. Don’t do it because that’s what your parents do, or what your friends do, or because that’s what someone else told you to do. Don’t do it because you feel guilty about not voting or because you have a vague affinity for particular party and their buzz words— do it because you have real conviction and you actually believe in something.

Life is hard and a lot of the time it doesn’t go the way we want it to. With democracy, with people power, we get the chance for our voices to be heard and recognized. And it isn’t just about people hearing you, it’s you having something meaningful to say. It is our opportunity to act with real purpose and tell others how we want the world to be. Democracy is joining a club and agitating for change. Democracy is you working together with other people in anyway, because you feel like things are not the way you want them to be. Democracy is picking up garbage in your neighbourhood, building a school for kids that don’t have one, and democracy is you taking a stand and saying “Hey, I don’t like like the way things are so I’m going to do this to change that.” 

Election Canada is right if it only means the physical act of voting is easy; walking into a building and writing on a piece of paper doesn’t take a lot of effort for most people. But what takes real effort in democratic state, as well as in life, is figuring out what you really care about- maybe realizing their is something you can’t live without, and fighting as hard as you can for it. Know what you want, know what you believe in, get involved and do something to make that happen. Democracy is people changing their own lives, not writing on a piece of paper. 

If you’re going to vote, make sure it matters and it means something. Elections Canada says “The legitimacy of a government lies in the fact that it is elected. Low voter turnouts may call into question this democratic legitimacy.” To me, a government is illegitimate if people have no idea what they are talking about and only a vague, uneducated idea of what the issues really are. Go read about economies before you bash governments for their budgets and go get versed on how parliament even works before you attack politicians for acting the way they do. If you’re going to vote, make sure you’re ready to fight for what you believe in and make sure you have a leg to stand on, because this is my country too and I want it to be the best place in the world for me and mine to live in. 

Be smart, read a book. Don’t be an idiot. Take action and participate in democracy because it’s part of your plan for making your life and the lives of the people you love better.

Tsunamis and Sorrow I’m not sure if you’ve donated money yet, but when and if you do, please make sure you donate the funds so that they are unrestricted and not specifically ear-marked for Japan. When you donate money to Doctors Without Borders, the Red Cross, or any other philanthropic organization, and say “This money is to help those who are affected by the tsunami in Japan” These groups must use that money in Japan; it cannot be used anywhere else. It is very likely that NGOs will receive far more money to help in Japan than is needed and if the donations are restricted for use in Japan, that money will not go to other places in the world where it is useful. In other words, it will be squandered.  Tens of thousands of people in Haiti still lack shelter and adequate medical treatment and are always in desperate need of our help. Many groups operate in that country and can always use more funds. By making sure that you make donations without restrictions, you will be ensuring that the people of Haiti and everyone else in the developing world will have access to the basic services they need. The Doctors Without Borders website is asking that people do not donate directly to Japan and I encourage you to follow that wise advise. The best thing you can ever do to help those affected by natural disasters is to donate to relief groups before the disaster happens. This will ensure that aid workers and the organizations that employ them will have every resource that they need to respond immediately after a disaster happens. Helicopters, trucks, blankets and food take time to purchase, so any delay in receiving funding can mean the difference between life and death for a lot of people. Well established and well funded permanent organizations may well provide the best possible assistance when it is needed most, so please donate to this groups whenever you can, not just after things are too late. If you’re going to donate to Japan or you already have, thank you, you’re a good person. You’re showing that you’re compassionate and care about other people. But please, also be smart with your donations. Do your research before hand and don’t just throw money at a cause because you feel bad. Make sure that money you’re giving is going to help as many people as possible. Best, Richard

Tsunamis and Sorrow

I’m not sure if you’ve donated money yet, but when and if you do, please make sure you donate the funds so that they are unrestricted and not specifically ear-marked for Japan. When you donate money to Doctors Without Borders, the Red Cross, or any other philanthropic organization, and say “This money is to help those who are affected by the tsunami in Japan” These groups must use that money in Japan; it cannot be used anywhere else. It is very likely that NGOs will receive far more money to help in Japan than is needed and if the donations are restricted for use in Japan, that money will not go to other places in the world where it is useful. In other words, it will be squandered. 

Tens of thousands of people in Haiti still lack shelter and adequate medical treatment and are always in desperate need of our help. Many groups operate in that country and can always use more funds. By making sure that you make donations without restrictions, you will be ensuring that the people of Haiti and everyone else in the developing world will have access to the basic services they need. The Doctors Without Borders website is asking that people do not donate directly to Japan and I encourage you to follow that wise advise.

The best thing you can ever do to help those affected by natural disasters is to donate to relief groups before the disaster happens. This will ensure that aid workers and the organizations that employ them will have every resource that they need to respond immediately after a disaster happens. Helicopters, trucks, blankets and food take time to purchase, so any delay in receiving funding can mean the difference between life and death for a lot of people. Well established and well funded permanent organizations may well provide the best possible assistance when it is needed most, so please donate to this groups whenever you can, not just after things are too late.

If you’re going to donate to Japan or you already have, thank you, you’re a good person. You’re showing that you’re compassionate and care about other people. But please, also be smart with your donations. Do your research before hand and don’t just throw money at a cause because you feel bad. Make sure that money you’re giving is going to help as many people as possible.

Best,
Richard

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT? defs a chair, tumblrbot!

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

defs a chair, tumblrbot!

I spent a few hours early one morning walking around my new neighbourhood. Vancouver is pretty cool when it’s just you walking around, no one else. It’s like having your own city.